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" I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. "

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" My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly. "

" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. "

" The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery. "

Second Amendment

" You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. "

" Comedy is acting out optimism. "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "

" Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet. "

" We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. "

" Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics. "

" Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. "

" I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops. "

" A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys. "

" I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. "

" I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time. "

" I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing. "

" I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people. "

" There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win. "

" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "

" I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. "

" The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything. "

" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "

" You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. "

" Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! "

" When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? "

" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "

" Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' "