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" I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops. "

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" One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre. "

" In America they really do mythologise people when they die. "

" I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone. "

" Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics. "

" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

" Comedy is acting out optimism. "

" Reality: What a concept! "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. "

" I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance. "

" We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. "

" You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken. "

" I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal. "

" I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor. "

" It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work. "

" I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. "

" The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. "

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