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" You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. "

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" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops. "

" We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. "

" People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" In America they really do mythologise people when they die. "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "

" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "

" Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" I've never been asked to appear on 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!,' so I guess I mustn't be on the professional skids just yet. "

" I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal. "

" Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. "

" Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' "

" I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. "

" I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. "

" The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. "

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!' "

" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "

" I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. "

" I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "

" Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money. "

" I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken. "

" Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "