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" I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. "

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" My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. "

" Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. "

" My parents always threw everything out, gave everything away. I'm surprised they never threw me away. That's why I've always kept my children's things. My parents had no feelings for belongings. "

" All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. "

" Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. "

" Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too. "

" I remember lying out in my bed and looking at the vast, quiet sky. Right up above my head, there were three stars in a row, and I remember thinking, 'Well, I'll have those three stars all my life, and wherever I am, they will be. They are my stars, and they belong to me.' "

" I can't stand being late. I try to be professional. I try not to let people down. But people let me down. That's why I don't rely on anyone to call me. That's why I have clocks as well as people. I have to be able to call myself; it's the only way to be sure. "

" It was implanted in me that I came from a different class - an elevated class. I was cushioned by servants. I don't remember doing anything for myself. I only played and went to school. "

" My father being a soldier, every time I saw soldiers marching - 'Well,' I thought, 'my father's that,' and these soldiers were always looking magnificent. And I thought they were powerful; they were all-powerful. I knew that they were an elite in India. "

" I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. "

" Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? "

" As I kept having episodes of depression, I realized that it was not a one-off: that I had, well, not a disease, really - more an illness. "

" You couldn't enclose people in institutions or hospitals or almshouses in the way the Victorians managed to do. India was too big. Seeing the suffering people was terrible, but I think I was more distraught at the needless cruelty to so many animals. "

" The lunacy continues and has every chance of becoming a way of life unless we stop it soon. Men are getting so used to wars that the psychiatric wing of the RAMC are planning how to break the news to the men when the war is over. "

" Driver Shepherd and I had been detailed to drive Lt. Budden in the Wireless Truck. We had been standing by vehicles for an hour, and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently. "

" I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. "

" My father was a soldier, which meant that he was a warrior, which meant that he was important. My mother rode a horse and sang in the Governor-General's band, so that made her important as well. "

" I can speak Esperanto like a native. "

" The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it. "

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "

" One important thing I recall about India was that it was quiet. It was never noisy in the way that life was noisy in London. "

" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "

" For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. "

" We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating. "

" The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.' "

" I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. "

" I had stopped going to church the moment I joined the Regiment. No more could my mother nag me into God's presence. "

" We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last they had been put to practical use. If only the ancient Greeks had known. "

" When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create something in terms of poetry. "