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" I can speak Esperanto like a native. "

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" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "

" People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on. "

" I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "

" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "

" If I feel you're funny, I want to work with you. "

Danielle Schneider

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "

" Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. "

George Bernard Shaw

" I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. "

" I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "

Robert Benchley

" I discovered that funny animal pictures - memes - would get a lot of likes and shares. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" Never put a sock in a toaster. "

" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "

" When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. "

Albert Einstein

" Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. "

" I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of a broken heart behind them. That is what life is like: it's really funny, you see funny things as soon as you step out of the room, but underneath that is a whole bag of broken hearts. It's that real pain and that real hilarity that makes life so intriguing. "

" The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. "

" Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. "

" You're only as good as your last haircut. "

" 'Bridesmaids,' I think, opened up a door to allow women to show a bunch of different women in different ways of being funny. It was kind of like an arrival moment. "

" I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it. "

" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "