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" As I kept having episodes of depression, I realized that it was not a one-off: that I had, well, not a disease, really - more an illness. "

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" I can speak Esperanto like a native. "

" I can't stand being late. I try to be professional. I try not to let people down. But people let me down. That's why I don't rely on anyone to call me. That's why I have clocks as well as people. I have to be able to call myself; it's the only way to be sure. "

" Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. "

" It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. "

" The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.' "

" We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last they had been put to practical use. If only the ancient Greeks had known. "

" For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. "

" Driver Shepherd and I had been detailed to drive Lt. Budden in the Wireless Truck. We had been standing by vehicles for an hour, and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently. "

" All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. "

" I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. "

" Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. "

" Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? "

" Things began to improve when I went to Rangoon. To begin with, my father was promoted, which meant he was at home more. The matriarchal society was ended, and for the first time, I went to a boys' school. "

" I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. "

" It was implanted in me that I came from a different class - an elevated class. I was cushioned by servants. I don't remember doing anything for myself. I only played and went to school. "

" One important thing I recall about India was that it was quiet. It was never noisy in the way that life was noisy in London. "

" I am afraid that, like Timon of Athens, I just cannot let go of my friendships. "

" We come across thirty or so hurried graves with makeshift wooden markers. 'Private Edwards, E.', a number, and that was all. Fourteen days ago he was alive, thinking feeling, hoping... If war was a game of cards, I'd say someone was cheating. "

" Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. "

" And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. "

" Unbeknown to me, my manager, under my very nose (in a crouching position) has all these years been secretly compiling a book from my correspondence. I often wondered what she was doing in my office. She never did a stroke of work for me. All the time, I have been working for her. "

" It's all in the mind, you know. "

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "

" Is the modern social pattern of unending change and movement the cause of two modern diseases, insecurity and dissatisfaction? How lucky Thomas Hood was to be able to write, 'I remember, I remember the house where I was born.' I don't even know what mine looked like! "

" I had stopped going to church the moment I joined the Regiment. No more could my mother nag me into God's presence. "

" I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens. "

" The lunacy continues and has every chance of becoming a way of life unless we stop it soon. Men are getting so used to wars that the psychiatric wing of the RAMC are planning how to break the news to the men when the war is over. "

" The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it. "

" I don't think of depression as contagious. Other depressed people challenge the idea - which can be very persistent and irritating - that there is something odd about you: that you are unique with regard to this wretched state. "

" I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. "