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" Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. "
Spike Milligan
Should
Occasion
Used
Related Quotes:
" When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create something in terms of poetry. "
Spike Milligan
Over
Try
Sadness
" My father being a soldier, every time I saw soldiers marching - 'Well,' I thought, 'my father's that,' and these soldiers were always looking magnificent. And I thought they were powerful; they were all-powerful. I knew that they were an elite in India. "
Spike Milligan
Father
Time
Thought
" We reach a secondary road and - here comes the bonus - we pass the Temple of Neptune and Cerene, at Paestum, both looking beautiful in the sunlight. Strung from the Doric columns are lines of soldiers' washing. At last they had been put to practical use. If only the ancient Greeks had known. "
Spike Milligan
Road
Temple
Looking
" I have resigned from the human race. Look at the way we treat animals. "
Spike Milligan
Look
Race
Treat
" I'm a hero with coward's legs. "
Spike Milligan
Legs
Hero
Coward
" My parents always threw everything out, gave everything away. I'm surprised they never threw me away. That's why I've always kept my children's things. My parents had no feelings for belongings. "
Spike Milligan
Feelings
Children
Parents
" As I kept having episodes of depression, I realized that it was not a one-off: that I had, well, not a disease, really - more an illness. "
Spike Milligan
Illness
Depression
Disease
" May 8th 1943. Deluge. The rain not only fell mainly on the plain in Spain; it also fell mainly on the back of the bloody neck, dripping down the spine into the socks where it came out of the lace-holes in the boots. "
Spike Milligan
Down
Spain
Socks
" Unbeknown to me, my manager, under my very nose (in a crouching position) has all these years been secretly compiling a book from my correspondence. I often wondered what she was doing in my office. She never did a stroke of work for me. All the time, I have been working for her. "
Spike Milligan
She
Me
Doing
" I remember lying out in my bed and looking at the vast, quiet sky. Right up above my head, there were three stars in a row, and I remember thinking, 'Well, I'll have those three stars all my life, and wherever I am, they will be. They are my stars, and they belong to me.' "
Spike Milligan
Stars
Me
Life
" I can speak Esperanto like a native. "
Spike Milligan
Speak
Native
I Can
" It was implanted in me that I came from a different class - an elevated class. I was cushioned by servants. I don't remember doing anything for myself. I only played and went to school. "
Spike Milligan
Remember
Myself
Doing
" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "
Spike Milligan
Long
Army
Five
" I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. "
Spike Milligan
Somebody
Years
Many
" One important thing I recall about India was that it was quiet. It was never noisy in the way that life was noisy in London. "
Spike Milligan
Way
Important
India
" It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. "
Spike Milligan
He
Perfect
Want
" It's all in the mind, you know. "
Spike Milligan
Mind
Know
You
" Things began to improve when I went to Rangoon. To begin with, my father was promoted, which meant he was at home more. The matriarchal society was ended, and for the first time, I went to a boys' school. "
Spike Milligan
School
Father
Home
" Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? "
Spike Milligan
Going
You
Come
" You couldn't enclose people in institutions or hospitals or almshouses in the way the Victorians managed to do. India was too big. Seeing the suffering people was terrible, but I think I was more distraught at the needless cruelty to so many animals. "
Spike Milligan
Think
People
Animals
" I had stopped going to church the moment I joined the Regiment. No more could my mother nag me into God's presence. "
Spike Milligan
Mother
Church
God
" I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. "
Spike Milligan
Old
Keep
Health
" I can't stand being late. I try to be professional. I try not to let people down. But people let me down. That's why I don't rely on anyone to call me. That's why I have clocks as well as people. I have to be able to call myself; it's the only way to be sure. "
Spike Milligan
Myself
People
Professional
" And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. "
Spike Milligan
God
Electricity
Light
" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "
Spike Milligan
Sure
Sit
Funny
" Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. "
Spike Milligan
More
You
Money
" The experience of being in the Army changed my whole life; I never believed that an organization such as ours could ever go to war, leave alone win it. It was, as Yeats remarked of the Easter Rising, 'A terrible beauty.' "
Spike Milligan
War
Alone
Beauty
" For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. "
Spike Milligan
Iron
Foot
Hand
" I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. "
Spike Milligan
Mine
Why
Thought
" Driver Shepherd and I had been detailed to drive Lt. Budden in the Wireless Truck. We had been standing by vehicles for an hour, and nothing had happened, but it happened frequently. "
Spike Milligan
Standing
Driver
Drive