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" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "

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" Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. "

" I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. "

" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "

" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "

" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

" I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything. "

" The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. "

" It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge. "

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "

" The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. "

" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "

" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "

" I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. "

" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "

" People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor. "

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain. "

" People are friendlier in New York than London. "

" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it. "

" You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. "

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "