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" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

John Oliver

You

Done

Job

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" I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse. "

John Oliver

British

Pessimism

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler. "

" There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. "

" I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

John Oliver

Happy

" Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. "

" I have occasionally - if ever I do interviews that are difficult or nerve-wracking - I take my wife's dog tags and have them in my pocket because it's a very quick way to realize that what I'm doing is not that important. It's not really worth getting stressed about because it's not, you know, war. "

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

John Oliver

Said

Decision

" Politicians don't really bring up religion in England. "

John Oliver

Bring

Politicians

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things. "

" If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. "

John Oliver

You

Cannot

" I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. "

John Oliver

Just

Sketch

" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "

" Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. "

" When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain. "

" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "

" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. "

" Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. "

" I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. "

" I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. "

" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "

" There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled. "