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" You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. "

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" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "

" It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "

" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" People are friendlier in New York than London. "

" Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing. "

" It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. "

" I would hate to meet myself at 15. "

" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "

" I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. "

" In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview. "

" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "

" My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" The disconnect between America and its military is shocking. "

" People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard. "

" I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician. "

" I can't relax. I find vacations problematic. "

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

" Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. "

" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "

" When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain. "

" I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. "

" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "

" People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor. "

" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "

" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "

" The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. "