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" People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor. "

John Oliver

Mistake

People

Daily

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" Americans just don't understand dry wit. "

" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "

" I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in! "

John Oliver

Pressure

Trying

" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "

John Oliver

Field

Fun

" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything. "

" There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers. "

" Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect. "

" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "

" The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you. "

" People are friendlier in New York than London. "

" Politicians don't really bring up religion in England. "

John Oliver

Bring

Politicians

" You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. "

" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "

" I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge. "

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

John Oliver

Said

Decision

" When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. "

" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. "

John Oliver

You

Cannot

" It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. "

" I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go. "

John Oliver

Just

Sketch

" It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be. "