Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! "

Related Quotes:

" When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. "

" I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. "

" The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. "

" I was 5-foot-8 when I graduated high school, but then I shot up to 6-foot-4 and got more into playing basketball. "

" I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals. "

" I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe. "

" I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things. "

" To this day, I haven't felt like I've made it. I'm waiting for them to pull the rug out from under me. I kind of feel like George Plimpton; I'm just experiencing this whole business with the really talented people. "

" I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me. "

" I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. "

" I just loved stand-up comics as a kid. I'd watch them on 'The Tonight Show,' and I thought what a great craft it was to come out on stage with no instrument or anything and be able to entertain people. "

" Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them. "

" I used to go to the Hollywood YMCA when I first came here, and I was standing in front of the mirror doing curls, and I noticed this guy next to me also doing curls. He was grimacing a lot, and I noticed he had an underbite. I looked more closely and realized it was Bruce Springsteen. "

" Every time I think of Doug Wilson, I think 'pathetic.' When it comes between something for himself or something for righteousness, he'll choose himself. "

" Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness. "

" Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone. "

" I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere. "

" I tend to listen to Sirius XM Radio. "

" I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still. "

" I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son. "

" I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around. "

" My adrenaline is definitely going, but it's mostly my real, laid-back persona carrying over on stage. When I first started, I was nervous, I'd be really high energy, and I'd be sweating. Now it's just my job. It's like a machinist who goes to work every day and uses the same drill bits. He's not worried about taking his finger off. "

" When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood. "

" When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together. "

" When I would see my friends with their kids, I was envious that you can use children to get out of just about anything. If you don't feel like going to a dinner party, you could say, 'My kid's sick. I can't make it.' Who's gonna argue with you? "

" I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman. "

" I think there's a part of me that might be my alter ago, like the carefree, do-what-he-wants kind of guy, because I've been so restrained most of my life, going to Catholic school and being the good son and the good husband. It's a fun escape route for me sometimes to lead that life. "

" A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. "

" I lived in Germany from when I was 6 until I was 10, so, of course, I played soccer. When I came back to the States, nobody played soccer, and none of the schools taught German, so I couldn't continue to excel in those categories. "

" I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it. "