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" I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. "
Kevin Nealon
Stand-Up
Actor
Than
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" I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things. "
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" I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it. "
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" I think I definitely would have ended up in some kind of show business. I was very interested in music when I was younger. This was back when Crosby, Stills and Nash were around. "
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" The thing is when I started doing standup, you had to have a clean act because that's how you got on television. There weren't all these cable shows. Also, I didn't want to have that kind of act in case my family came to see me or my kid one day. "
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" A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages. "
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" I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son. "
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Son
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" I was 5-foot-8 when I graduated high school, but then I shot up to 6-foot-4 and got more into playing basketball. "
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School
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" If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said. "
Kevin Nealon
You
Everything
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" I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate. "
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Lot
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Real
" I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past. "
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Travel
Work
Together
" I used to go to the Hollywood YMCA when I first came here, and I was standing in front of the mirror doing curls, and I noticed this guy next to me also doing curls. He was grimacing a lot, and I noticed he had an underbite. I looked more closely and realized it was Bruce Springsteen. "
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Standing
Hollywood
Doing
" I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper. "
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Being
Bored
Doodle
" I like YouTube; it's really entertaining. A lot of it is crappy stuff, but there are a couple diamonds in the rough there. "
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Rough
Like
Diamonds
" I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time. "
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Working
First Time
Film
" My heart started running away, like a pack of horses. Then it slowed down and became irregular. "
Kevin Nealon
Heart
Started
Like
" As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit. "
Kevin Nealon
Live
Little
You
" Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites. "
Kevin Nealon
More
Hungry
Website
" I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. "
Kevin Nealon
Myself
Game
Birds
" If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit. "
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Little
Numb
People
" You see things through a different lens when you have a child. "
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Child
Different
Things
" I'm a member of the Studio City Driving Range. They have a nice little par-3 AstroTurf course and driving range. You know, I don't belong to a course because I don't golf that much, so it's not worth it for me to join a club. "
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Nice
City
Driving
" It was football I enjoyed most. When I moved to L.A. to become a stand-up comedian, I thought it might be a good comedy hook to also be the punter for USFL club The L.A. Express, so I started practicing for the tryouts. Luckily, my stand-up took off, and I didn't need to do it. "
Kevin Nealon
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Football
Good
" As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences. "
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New
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You
" I tend to listen to Sirius XM Radio. "
Kevin Nealon
Listen
Radio
Tend
" I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them. "
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Heart
Impossible
" People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing, but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!' "
Kevin Nealon
Job
Work
Saying
" I feel guilty: when I'm not golfing, I feel like I should be golfing. And when I'm golfing, I feel like I should be home working or spending time with the family. So it's a real conundrum. "
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Home
Family
Feel
" I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version. "
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New
New York
Street
" Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled. "
Kevin Nealon
Insist
Disgruntled
Very