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" I've never been asked to appear on 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!,' so I guess I mustn't be on the professional skids just yet. "

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" I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!' "

" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing. "

" Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string. "

" If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing. "

" Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. "

" It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work. "

" I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time. "

" The idea of having a steady job is appealing. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

" Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' "

" Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. "

" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "

" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre. "

" I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. "

" My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly. "

" I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor. "