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" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

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" Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! "

" Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet. "

" You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. "

" I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way. "

" Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string. "

" There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win. "

" In America they really do mythologise people when they die. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre. "

" I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. "

" You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand. "

" My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly. "

" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "

" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "

" When I went home from Juilliard, I couldn't find acting work. "

" I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. "

" Cricket is basically baseball on valium. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? "