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" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

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" I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance. "

" Cricket is basically baseball on valium. "

" No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. "

Change The World

" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people. "

" The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. "

" I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. "

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "

" The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on. "

" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. "

" Comedy is acting out optimism. "

" I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. "

" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "

" What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys. "

" Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone. "

" We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. "

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. "

" I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "