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" I remember being a teenager and feeling like I could talk to anyone anywhere about anything. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Men - not all men but a good majority of the ones I have known and worked with - tend to think of difficult situations in their lives as problems that need to be solved. "

Emily V. Gordon

" People all want and need different emotional responses - some people like to be talked down when they're angry; some people want to be left alone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "

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" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "

Emily V. Gordon

" As my marriage was slowly dissolving into silent meals and awkward nights of avoiding conversation, I started pondering an unmarried future and wondered if I'd ever be able to hack being single again. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Awkward conversations are painful, but they're way easier than divorce, resentment, and heartbreak. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Your life story is a gift, and it should be treated as such. "

Emily V. Gordon

" No matter how you handle alcohol at your wedding, you will most likely be upsetting someone. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my professional and personal life, when I meet people who feel broken after a divorce, they can usually be divided into two categories: those who truly believe there's something wrong with them, and those that are using their status as armor. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I always tell people, 'Take a class or volunteer.' It really helps you get out of your own little pocket of people you always see and gets you exposed to a new group of people. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I have multiple tattoos. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Being completely independent doesn't make you a strong woman - it's being strong enough to trust yourself in other people's hands that takes guts. "

Emily V. Gordon

" The benefits of a healthy, thriving relationship may not be nearly as exciting as watching your career take off, but both aspects of your life are equally important. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I am fairly convinced that people plan destination weddings because they would actually like to elope but want to have given you the option to attend. "

Emily V. Gordon

" It's easy to isolate yourself when you're buried in work, or to rely only on work friends for empathy. And while your work friends will always 'get it' more than your life partner, they don't know how to comfort you like your partner does. "

Emily V. Gordon

" When I was young and less wise, I thought that being a feminist meant being independent. It meant not sacrificing your needs for anyone else's and not relying on anyone else for even a smidgen of your happiness or well being. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my experience as a therapist and as a friend, it seems that the majority of the breakup resources available are for women and not men. Women, who tend to be more vocal about their emotional struggles, are the squeaky wheel that gets the grease from friends, from online communities, from books, and from therapeutic approaches. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

Emily V. Gordon

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage, even a happy and successful one, can be extremely stressful, but that stress is worth it if you're marrying the best person for you. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage will not change your spouse. It will not make him or her more mature, more loyal to you, or better at housework. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Nothing makes a girl feel as unsexy as divorce. "

Emily V. Gordon