Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you. "

Roseanne Barr

Smart

You

Way

Related Quotes:

" The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. "

" I wish I'd done a tenth year of the 'Roseanne' show. "

" I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust. "

" Imitation is the sincerest form of show business. "

" Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting. "

" I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too. "

" It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. "

Roseanne Barr

You

Shut Up

" I'm God because I have the power to control my mind. "

" When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying. "

" I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.' "

" You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship. "

" I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird? "

" There is no real third party in America. There's this one party that has two sides to it - the Democratic and Republican side. It's one party that has two heads. "

" I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously. "

" One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa. "

" You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it. "

" After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom. "

Roseanne Barr

Turn

Appearance

" I gave Joss Whedon and Judd Apatow their first writing jobs, as well as many other untried writers who went on to great success. "

" I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place. "

" Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids. "

" Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it. "

" The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment 'Roseanne' dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous! "

" We're not meant to be parents when we're 50. "

" I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. "

" I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them. "

" I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver. "

Roseanne Barr

Woman

I Am

" Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head. "

" You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have sheds full of things, maybe sometimes nine copies of the same thing. "

Roseanne Barr

Know

Rich

" Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. "

" Excuse the mess but we live here. "