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" Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. "
Drew Carey
Funny
Nothing
Someone
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" I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites. "
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" I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there. "
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" I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of TV shows. People don't want to hear from me. "
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" I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun. "
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" International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team. "
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" As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. "
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" I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do. "
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Self
Myself
" I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys. "
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Time
Two
Week
" I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. "
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Kid
Care
Appropriate
" 'The Price Is Right,' it was an honor to be offered it because it's such an American institution. To be able to carry on this tradition with a show that has been on for so long, I thought it was a great opportunity for me. "
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Opportunity
Thought
Great
" After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine. "
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" I always thought I was going to die before I was 60. "
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Always
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" There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it. "
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Salary
Way
I Can
" I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them. "
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Way
Comic
Material
" I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything. "
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World
People
Change The World
" Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now. "
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America
Crime
Led
" I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. You can pretty much do it all day and all night if you want to. "
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Day
Night
You
" I'm competitive at everything. "
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Everything
Competitive
" When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot. "
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Pot
Like
Losing
" My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals. "
Drew Carey
Fans
Normal
Pretty
" George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do. "
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Thought
Truth
Grow
" There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me. "
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Face
Energy
Comedy
" But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do. "
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You
Pride
Job
" I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures. "
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Help
" Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know? "
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Heaven
Know
People
" The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name. "
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Moving On
Name
Start
" I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it. "
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Appreciate
People
Earth
" I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day. "
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Happy
Best
Saying
" I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. "
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People
Comedy
Other
" If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator. "
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Got
Social
Working