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" I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. "

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" 'The Price Is Right,' it was an honor to be offered it because it's such an American institution. To be able to carry on this tradition with a show that has been on for so long, I thought it was a great opportunity for me. "

" The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible. "

" I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated. "

" I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian. "

" I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.' "

" After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine. "

" But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy. "

" When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games. "

" When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot. "

" I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody. "

" People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are. "

" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "

" TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure. "

" If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job. "

" I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs. "

" We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again. "

" It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day. "

" The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name. "

" I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped. "

" I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. "

" I'm competitive at everything. "

" But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do. "

" Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make. "

" Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label. "

" Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. "

" I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys. "

" I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites. "

" George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do. "