Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything. "

Change The World

Related Quotes:

" 'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going. "

" The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them. "

" The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job. "

" I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' "

" I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it. "

" I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me. "

" I'm competitive at everything. "

" I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of TV shows. People don't want to hear from me. "

" Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with. "

" Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. "

" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "

" I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them. "

" You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. "

" Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one. "

" I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them. "

" When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off. "

" I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian. "

" I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do. "

" Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you. "

" I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.' "

" I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys. "

" That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment. "

" I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done. "

" When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show. "

" When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games. "

" Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event. "

" I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun. "

" But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy. "

" At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know? "

" Nothing's funny about someone who's successful. "