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" I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there. "

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" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "

" I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs. "

" I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up. "

" I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun. "

" I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it. "

" Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event. "

" I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge. "

" As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. "

" I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me. "

" I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. You can pretty much do it all day and all night if you want to. "

" I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it. "

" The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can. "

" I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' "

" When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot. "

" I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.' "

" I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day. "

" Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you. "

" International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team. "

" I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. "

" I'm competitive at everything. "

" Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with. "

" It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day. "

" I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done. "

" What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously. "

" Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now. "

" I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of TV shows. People don't want to hear from me. "

" If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job. "

" I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. "

" The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job. "

" Being a celebrity, you always get really good seats to sporting events, but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. "