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" Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. "

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" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "

P. J. O'Rourke

People

Head

End

" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "

" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Got

Older

" Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. "

" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "

" You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Despair

Middle

" For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the same as the rights of those who are. "

" A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny. "

" When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're in shorts and T-shirts. And it's not just on airplanes. It's in business offices, teachers' lounges, and churches. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Teachers

Men

" Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen. "

" The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren't carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth. "

" College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Worth

Used

" I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory. "

" Democrats hate success. "

" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "

" America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased. "

" All previous populist movements were demanding things from governments, whereas the Tea Party is saying, 'Give us less, go away.' That's heartening to see. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Away

Party

" The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich. "

" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "

" More modern poetry is written than read. "

" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "

" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "

" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "

" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "

" Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. "

" The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. "

" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "

" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "

" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "

" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "