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" A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny. "

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" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "

" The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. "

" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "

" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "

" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "

" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "

" The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. "

" Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. "

" Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free. "

" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "

" Funding for the original manned Voyager Mars Program was scratched in 1968, before humans had gotten out of Low Earth Orbit. Mid-'60s plans for a Venus fly-by with astronauts actually flying by it met the same fate. "

" TV ushered in the age of postliteracy. And we have gone so far beyond that. I mean, what with the Internet and Google and Wikipedia. We have entered the age of post-intelligence. "

" Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else. "

" After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. "

" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "

" Not much was really invented during the Renaissance, if you don't count modern civilization. "

" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "

" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "

" On inspection, Gaudi's architecture isn't whimsical at all. "

" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. "

" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "

" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "

" Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. "

" There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. "

" There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. "

" If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. "

" Space has always been confusing to politics. "

" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "

" College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. "

" What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt. "