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" The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Rich
Too
People
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" The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Try
Too Much
Job
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Happiness
History
Human
" Political leaders are expert at saying nothing. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing
Political
Saying
" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
Death
Somebody
" If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Would
Selling
" I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mom
Just
Irish
" If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Around
Were
Process
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Capital
Sort
" As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Walk
Political
Football
" A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dollar
Gold
Silver
" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Line
Attack
Creative
" I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Now
Air
American
" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Am
I Am
Stupidity
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Singing
You
Wish
" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Office
You
Mean
" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Want
Shouting
" Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Live
People
Ugly
" It's hard to be serious in life. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hard
Serious
Life
" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Always
People
Will
" There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
Number
Mechanical
" Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Earth
Good
" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" As a former writer for the 'National Lampoon,' I've probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Live
Sarcasm
Writer
" The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Goals
Purpose
" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Mature
You
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money
" The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jail
Accounting
Pay