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" Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Day

Growth

Proud

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" Satire doesn't effect change. "

" Voting has proliferated in the United States, and it has reached a point where there is now almost one vote available per citizen over the age of eighteen. "

" In Hong Kong there is agglomeration beyond my fondest imaginings. The Kowloon district claims a population density four times that of New York City. "

" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "

" The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. "

" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "

" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "

" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "

" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "

P. J. O'Rourke

I Can

Nothing

" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "

" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Life

Friends

" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "

" My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Haste

Young

" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "

" Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that's done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. "

" To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. "

" Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. "

" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

" I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius. "

" Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Less

Nothing

" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

" Freedom is for fun. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Fun

Freedom

" Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Purpose

Children

" If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. "

" Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland. "

" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "

" Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid. "

" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "

" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "

" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "