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" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

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" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "

" War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. "

" In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.' "

" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "

" Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. "

" Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. "

" Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. "

" Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do. "

" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "

" You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. "

" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "

" The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic. "

" Even the most left-wing politicians worship wealth creation - as the political-action-committee collection plate is passed. "

" President Obama has contempt for real money. "

" Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. "

" Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. "

" Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid. "

" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "

" I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer. "

" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "

" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "

" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "

" The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do. "

" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "

" The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around. "

" There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. "

" I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' "

" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "

" The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. "

" I'm really tired of virtue. "