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" To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. "

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" Why can't death - if we must have it - be always glorious, as in 'The Iliad?' "

" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "

" I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion. "

" We have the British motor industry as a role model for what happens when you try to save an industrial dinosaur. Britain was the first country to industrialise and the first to de-industrialise. We should learn from this. "

" The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the '70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war. "

" Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. "

" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "

" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "

" Everybody in America who didn't come over the Bering Strait ice bridge stole his land from somebody else. "

" My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. "

" Political discourse has become so rotten that it's no longer possible to tell the stench of one presidential candidate from the stink of another. "

" Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. "

" I believe in God. God created the world. "

" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "

" I'm fascinated by political enthusiasm. "

" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. "

" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "

" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "

" The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. "

" What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. "

" Hubris is one of the great renewable resources. "

" The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does. "

" The most futuristic aspect of the House of the Future was that it was made almost entirely of plastic. "

" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "

" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "

" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "

" We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do. "

" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "

" In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. "

" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "