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" Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. "

Rodney Dangerfield

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" We all know the stories about the Human Rights Act... about the illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because, and I am not making this up, he had a pet cat. "

" What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. "

Dwight D. Eisenhower

" I have a Lab, it's fun to hang out and hike with the dog, people come up to him, and pet him, it's fun. "

" I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. "

" My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I'm a writer who stacks cat food for a living. It's true: I have a master's degree in creative writing, I've published two critically successful books, and I get paid to replenish the shelves of my local food co-op with pet food, sponges and toilet paper. Nine days out of 10, I do it quite happily. "

" Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs. "

" My biggest pet peeve are just girls who go to sports bars who have no intention on caring what teams are playing, like they're looking for just a night out. That drives me more crazy than anything else. Like, don't pretend to be a sports fan. "

" One of my pet peeves about Nashville is that it tends to be copycatted. I don't want to do that. I've got to be different. "

" Why would you want to do anything else but rescue a pet? "

" I'm a dog person, but I don't have a pet. "

" I have the same pet peeve as Anderson Cooper, which is bare feet in public. I hate it. It so grosses me out, especially in New York. Oh my God, New York in the summer with people and their feet in their sandals and their flip-flops, like get it away! "

" Though each trainer believes his or her method is best, I don't think it matters which method the pet owner adopts so long as that owner finds a capable mentor and sticks with the training. Eventually you will learn to see your dog, and when that happens, the richness of your and your dog's lives will tell you what to do next. "

" Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' "

Rodney Dangerfield

" My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test. "

" We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. "

" With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. "

Karl Pilkington

" In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. "

Terry Pratchett

" My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. "

" Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. "

August Strindberg

" I don't have a pet, but I dream of someday getting a pug dog whom I will name Croque Monsieur so that I may alternate between calling him Croque, Monsieur or his full name: Croque Monsieur. I'll more than likely only use his first and last name most often when he's been bad. "

John Gallagher, Jr.

" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "

" Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united to creative people. "

" I have never been a pet lover or really craved the idea of having dogs. "

" Who indeed, after pulling off the coloured glasses of prejudice and thrusting out of sight his pet projects, can help seeing the folly of these endeavours to protect men against themselves? A sad population of imbeciles would our schemers fill the world with, could their plans last. "

Herbert Spencer