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" My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. "

Rodney Dangerfield

She

Day

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" We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. "

" When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. "

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" I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "

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" What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. "

" My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. "

" My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. "

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