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" Talent is seductive. "

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" I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go. "

" Talent is very dangerous. It alienates people. "

" My biggest dream was to get out of Michigan - to discover life beyond the Sacred Heart Convent. "

" Making clever speeches takes a lot of work and a lot of time. "

" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "

" I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it. "

" When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. "

" For me, going to London is like coming home. In fact, I've often entertained the idea of ending my days there. "

" I can't explain chemistry. I really can't. I haven't got a clue what it's all about. It just happens. It's like falling in love. You can't explain why you fall in love or explain why it's this particular person. "

" I don't have a great talent for explaining myself in acting because I can't explain it. "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" I have not had any of that surgical stuff. I am too curious to find out exactly how I progress every day of my life naturally. That is what fascinates me. "

" I mention I'm going home, and I'm a star immediately! This used to happen with my boyfriends - as soon as I'd say, 'I gotta go home now,' they fell in love. "

" You never know what is happening to yourself when it is happening. "

" I love holidays in New York. I love 'em. I want to celebrate something all the time, and New York has holidays for every day of the week, practically. I like holidays in New York City. "

" I don't want to see a movie twice. I don't want to do anything twice. "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" I loved being on Broadway, but performing has become exhausting, and I just don't want to live in New York anymore. I'm just sick of the competition in New York, the feeling that I always have to rehearse to keep up my performance. I don't feel like rehearsing, even though it should be my favorite thing in the world to do. "

" My movie career - if such a thing even exists - is laughable. "

" I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be. "

" This age thing is all up to you. It's like happiness is up to you. You just have to understand what it is before you get it. "

" Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. "

" I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar. "

" I don't wear a wig. I'd feel terrible onstage with a wig. I hate to be so 'Actors Studio'-ish, but I like to feel it's me out there. "

" I love New York. I went to New York to become an actress, and I did it. And I won all the awards known to man. And I'm happy. And I came home. I came, I saw, I conquered. And it feels great. "

" I'm a good acting partner for me... when I don't have anyone else, I do really well! "

" I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine. "

" Betty White is probably a very nice woman. "

" All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party. "

" Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. "