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" I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar. "

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" There will always be ladies who lunch. Always. And apparently they live a long time. "

" When the hospital sends for me, when the ambulance comes and I ease my way out of the world, I'd rather be in Detroit, Michigan, than Lenox Hill. "

" If I see a great performance on television, onstage, in the movies, I go to work the next day with a renewed energy and less fear. These great artists take me out of my life and make me want to go there. "

" The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know? "

" There's something that really frightens me - and that's fear. "

" Isn't this fantastic, what a star I am? "

" I find it easier to abstain than do a little bit of anything. I'm not a 'little bit' kind of dame. I want it all, whatever I do. "

" I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.' "

" I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go. "

" Fans recognize me all over the place. But the second you need anything, they're never around! They're like the police! "

" You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny. "

" I never found anyone who could look after me as well as I could look after myself. "

" If I see someone saying the rosary in the wings, I know they've got talent. "

" There were a lot of lyrics that I sang but didn't understand. But I had this facade in performance of looking like I wrote the book. "

" I think being boring is just the worst sin of all time. "

" I have not had any of that surgical stuff. I am too curious to find out exactly how I progress every day of my life naturally. That is what fascinates me. "

" All of the writing on '30 Rock' is a joy to go into. It's pretty hot stuff. "

" Fear is the base of what everybody does wrong in their lives. "

" Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. "

" I do believe in the infallibility of the Pope, because I think we have to believe in something. "

" I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here. "

" I could have made a lot of money doing 'Golden Girls,' and I would have been good. But the image of it! And for me to work with Betty White every day would be like taking cyanide. "

" I don't want to see a movie twice. I don't want to do anything twice. "

" Talent is seductive. "

" I like being talked about. I think some people really don't... because they're secure enough and they don't need that. "

" I love Birmingham, Michigan. It's lovely - you know, it's very similar to the Hamptons. "

" I smoked, I drank, I did all the kicking my heels up type things, but I went to Mass on Sunday. "

" I think I have more humour in me than anger. But those two things are great bed-fellows, performance-wise. "

" I have no intention of retiring. Even my blood sugar is better when I'm working. "

" I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy. "