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" The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. "
Sarah Silverman
Summer
First
First Time
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" Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill. "
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" I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money. "
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" If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. "
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" I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games. "
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" You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it. "
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" I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. "
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" And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. "
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" I just think of myself as a comedian, really. I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. "
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" It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it. "
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" I really think everything is fair game. "
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" My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. "
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" I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself. "
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" I'm not the marrying type, but I always want to be with someone who is a fan. "
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" It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to. It feeds into this whole 'war on women' thing in my head. "
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" When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. "
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Out
" I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited. "
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" They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. "
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Uncle
Trying
" I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much. "
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" Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. "
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" I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not. "
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Jewish
Totally
" I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks. "
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Done
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" What are the chances there is a God, really? "
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God
Chances
Really
" I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend. "
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Never
Want
Defend
" I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends. "
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" I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically. "
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" I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me. "
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" I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it. "
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Avoid
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