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" If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. "

Sarah Silverman

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" My comedy notebooks are filled with random journal entries. It's all the same. I can look back on old joke notebooks, and know exactly what was going on in my life. "

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" I never defend my material. Comedy is subjective. "

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" I do love the idea of ritual. I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic. "

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" Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me. "

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" I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself. "

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" I'm always writing; I'm always jotting things down on paper or making notes in my iPhone. Then I'll make myself sit down and kind of shape it up, but there's really no other way to practice other than onstage. "

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" By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live. "

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" I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. "

Sarah Silverman

" I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money. "

Sarah Silverman

" I really think everything is fair game. "

Sarah Silverman

" And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. "

Sarah Silverman

" Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill. "

Sarah Silverman

" You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to. "

Sarah Silverman

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

Sarah Silverman

" In terms of television and movies, I've been really interested in seeing the partnership of comedy and beauty and heart. I think they can go together really well and really thoughtfully. But, I'm a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you're a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that's the less stressful thing to watch. "

Sarah Silverman

" I'm doing a lot of stand-up, but not like when you're living in New York and you can do three sets a night and it's your life, and you sleep all day and you wake up and you eat with a bunch of other comics and then get ready for the night. "

Sarah Silverman

" If I have kids, I'll adopt. "

Sarah Silverman

" Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it. "

Sarah Silverman

Black And White

" I think I've been called edgy - but in all honesty, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot. Unless you're just listening to buzz words and not taking into account the context of the situation, you see I'm always the ignoramus. "

Sarah Silverman

" As a kid, I was terrified. I was a bed wetter, and I had to go to sleepaway camp every summer, which was humiliating and terrifying. I had lots of insecurities and scaredness. "

Sarah Silverman

" Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. "

Sarah Silverman

" What are the chances there is a God, really? "

Sarah Silverman

" It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it. "

Sarah Silverman

" When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach. "

Sarah Silverman

" My dad loves to be talked about, good or bad. He just loves it. He's not even hearing the content, he's just hearing him. When I'm onstage, he's looking at the audience members and can't believe that there are strangers listening to me, and he's just delighted by the whole thing. "

Sarah Silverman

" The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. "

Sarah Silverman

" Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world. "

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" I can't believe how much time has passed. The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. "

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" They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. "

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" I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show. "

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