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" The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. "

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" Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. "

" His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. "

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" You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. "

" I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. "

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" I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? "

" The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience. "

" I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. "

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" Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. "

" Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? "

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