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" There is nothing so habit-forming as money. "

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" There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us. "

" A hypocrite is a person who - but who isn't? "

" Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles. "

" Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. "

" Man cannot be uplifted; he must be seduced into virtue. "

" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "

" Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong. "

" Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes. "

" When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' "

" A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country. "

" Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man's hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them. "

" Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. "

" Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. "

" Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. "

" If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves. "

" Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. "

Procrastination

" The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram. "

" Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun. "

" A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself. "

" Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness. "

" It takes all sorts of people to make the underworld. "

" Bores bore each other too; but it never seems to teach them anything. "

" Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates. "

" The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race. "

" Writing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo. "

" Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control. "

" In all systems of theology the devil figures as a male person. Yes, it is women who keep the church going. "

" In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent. "

" By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing. "