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" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "

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" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "

Laurence J. Peter

" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "

" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "

" Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. "

" What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. "

" It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself. "

" Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. "

" I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. "

" It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do. "

Lance Armstrong

" I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. "

" It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say. "

Kenneth Branagh

" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "

Zora Neale Hurston

" Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. "

" If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. "

" You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. "

" So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? "

Christina Aguilera

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" Let's make some funny pictures. "

" The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. "

" To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. "

" A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. "

" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "

" The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" My hope is that we can spread the word: Wonder Woman is not some unapproachable goddess. She's funny, dangerous, intimidating, brilliant, and compassionate. In many ways, I think she's the most human superheroine there is. "

" It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body. "

" I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. "

" I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane. "

" I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "