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" Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Great
People
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" My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sexism
Generation
Earth
" We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scutter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Light
Step
Turn
" I myself am a parent in a small business. Number of employees: one. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Business
Small
Employees
" One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history. "
P. J. O'Rourke
History
World
True
" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Know
Look
" I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Me
Life
Friends
" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Will
Best
Style
" America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Hard
" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Place
Person
Parking
" Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. "
P. J. O'Rourke
God
Done
Way
" Never fight an inanimate object. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Object
Fight
Funny
" Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fatherhood
Child
Mother
" If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Great
Mind
" In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed, puling, supercilious crank, thwarted in ambition, aging gracelessly, mad at the cosmos, and ashamed of his own jejune ideals. He is nevertheless very dear to me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Aging
Me
Mad
" I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Like
Love
" We did not become libertarians because we are altruists. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Because
Become
Did
" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Skill
Effort
Part
" The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hood
White
Meeting
" Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Bad
Because
" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Am
I Am
Stupidity
" The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Standards
Top
" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Doing
Job
" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Want
Shouting
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
Public
Better
" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Say
You
Good
" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Today
American
" Political discourse has become so rotten that it's no longer possible to tell the stench of one presidential candidate from the stink of another. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Possible
Political
Discourse
" My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or anything, but he was worthless. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Haste
Young
" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Electricity
System
Sales