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" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Place
Person
Parking
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" If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Would
Selling
" Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Positive
Started
Rights
" There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
World
Men
" The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the '70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Reason
Divorce
War
" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Strange
Digital
" Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money, the TARP funds and shovel-ready stimulus programs of their day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Nothing
Day
" Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Show
Running
Happiness
" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soviet
Industry
Soviet Union
" Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Crazy
Up
Person
" Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that's done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Serious
Done
Way
" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Christmas
Save
Funny
" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "
P. J. O'Rourke
Other
Good
Bad
" America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tax
Class
Unfair
" The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Someone
Information
News
" Kabul is a walled city, which sounds romantic except the walls are pre-cast reinforced concrete blast barriers, 10 feet tall and 15 feet long and moved into place with cranes. The walls are topped with sandbags, and the sandbags are topped with guard posts from which gun barrels protrude. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gun
Romantic
Long
" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Use
Voting
Vote
" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Because
Lose
" The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Great
Better
Plant
" Writing is agony. I hate it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Writing
Agony
Hate
" Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wife
Wilderness
Until
" In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And all too often, out to 48-inch waistbands. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Grow
People
" The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Talents
Ready
Employees
" The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Only
Party
" Everybody is xenophobic to an extent. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Xenophobic
Extent
Everybody
" There are 1.3 billion people in China, and they all want a Buick. "
P. J. O'Rourke
China
Billion
Want
" Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Goods
Buy
Nobody
" The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
You
Work
" Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Great
People
" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fact
Revolution
Industrial
" A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Farm
Chickens
Size