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" America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Hard
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" There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Caring
People
" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
American
Difference
" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Can
Nothing
Go
" Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jack
Best
Federal
" Kabul is a walled city, which sounds romantic except the walls are pre-cast reinforced concrete blast barriers, 10 feet tall and 15 feet long and moved into place with cranes. The walls are topped with sandbags, and the sandbags are topped with guard posts from which gun barrels protrude. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gun
Romantic
Long
" Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help? "
P. J. O'Rourke
Help
Why
Iraq
" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ugly
People
Revolution
" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Government
Good
" Freedom is for fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Freedom
" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
Politics
Success
" Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would be gone. The handsome agricultural landscape of which the British are so proud, carefully husbanded since Boudicca's day, would be replaced by natural growth. The most likely growth is real-estate developments. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Day
Growth
Proud
" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
" In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Out
History
" Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Engineering
Nature
Art
" I don't watch much television. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Television
Much
Watch
" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Powerful
Sometimes
Organization
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" If I were a congressman who had voted for the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004, I'd claim it was forced on our country by a sinister international organization. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Creation
American
Act
" The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Washington
Mystery
" Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fact
Revolution
Industrial
" I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Detail
Always
Think
" The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Television
Bad
Sad
" What Enron was doing, what caused investors to embrace it in a rapture of baffled awe, was hiding debt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Enron
Awe
Debt
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Goods
Buy
Nobody
" The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do, shouldn't do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Forever
Body
Long
" No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Journalism
Memory
Print
" Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Irritating
Left
More
" Democrats hate success. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Success
Hate
" I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thought
Egypt
Country