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" Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. "

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" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "

" I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. "

" I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. "

" Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But it's striking, I'll give it that. It's not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly. "

" Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. "

" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "

" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

Ten Commandments

" I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements. "

" We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do. "

" Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. "

" I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. "

" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "

" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "

" Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers. "

" Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. "

" If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter. Either that or you're President Obama. "

" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "

" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "

" Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. "

" In midlife, we're as dumb as we get. "

" Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. "

" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "

" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "

" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "

" Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. "

" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "

" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "

" Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step. "

" Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. "

" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "