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" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Law
Religion
Congress
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" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Important
More
Cleanliness
" In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Out
History
" A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Big Idea
Idea
Question
" Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Got
Country
" One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history. "
P. J. O'Rourke
History
World
True
" Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Location
America
Like
" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Strategy
You
Blue
" Fall of the Berlin wall? Being there was fun. Nations that flaked off of the Soviet Union in southeastern Europe, Central Asia, and the Caucasus? Being there was not so fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Union
Being There
Fall
" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Off
Washington
" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Government
Good
" People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Things
Think
Free
" America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as if we're the only nation on earth that counts. We are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
Nation
Only
" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Student
Restaurant
Reviews
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" On inspection, Gaudi's architecture isn't whimsical at all. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Whimsical
Architecture
Inspection
" The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Time
You
Brilliant
" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Money
Something
" Politics is the one field you don't age out of. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Field
You
Politics
" Why can't death - if we must have it - be always glorious, as in 'The Iliad?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Glorious
Always
Why
" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Random
Beauty
Democracy
" People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thinking
Today
Say
" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Freedom
Nation
" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Head
End
" Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Positive
Health
Education
" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Only
Economic
Growth
" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Left
Here
United States
" Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Price
Progress
American
" One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jokes
Making
Nice
" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consider
People
Liberals