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" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "
Mark Twain
Heart
People
Man
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" The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. "
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" Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. "
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" Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. "
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" I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. "
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Hell
" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "
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" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "
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Hang
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" When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people. "
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People
" If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. "
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Two
Frog
Job
" It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. "
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Deserve
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" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "
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Unhappy
Happiness
Things
" A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. "
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Idea
Until
Person
" The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. "
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Difference
Cat
Only
" Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. "
Mark Twain
You
Go
Life
" The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. "
Mark Twain
Use
Word
Beginning
" The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. "
Mark Twain
Fluid
Prejudice
Ink
" Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. "
Mark Twain
Harm
Anger
Acid
" I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. "
Mark Twain
Answer
Know
Said
" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "
Mark Twain
Man
Poor
Rich
" Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. "
Mark Twain
Weather
Climate
Expect
" I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. "
Mark Twain
Make
Smoke
Sleeping
" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "
Mark Twain
Understand
You
Explain
" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "
Mark Twain
Depend
Imagination
You
" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "
Mark Twain
Time
Yourself
You
" I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.' "
Mark Twain
Disappointment
My Life
Life
" I can live for two months on a good compliment. "
Mark Twain
Live
Two
Compliment
" If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. "
Mark Twain
Tell
You
Truth
" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "
Mark Twain
River
Just
Egypt
" Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. "
Mark Twain
Small
Kind
Been
" It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. "
Mark Twain
Brainy
Fool
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" Prosperity is the best protector of principle. "
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Prosperity
Best
Protector