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" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "

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" Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. "

" It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. "

" Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. "

" It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. "

" If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. "

" Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. "

" Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. "

" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "

Getting Started

" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "

" My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. "

" Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. "

" Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. "

" When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. "

" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "

" But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. "

" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. "

" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "

" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "

" Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. "

" To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. "

" God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. "

" There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. "