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" Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing. "

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" The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery. "

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" I love kids, but they are a tough audience. "

" No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. "

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" For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. "

" In America they really do mythologise people when they die. "

" I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours. "

" Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "

" I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken. "

" I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. "

" Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string. "

" The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. "

" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "

" I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process. "

" The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything. "

" When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? "

" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. "

" You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. "

" A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills - no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. "

" What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong. "

" When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' "

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "

" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie. "

" We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. "