Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way. "

Related Quotes:

" The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. "

" I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance. "

" Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! "

" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "

" Reality: What a concept! "

" Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics. "

" The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

" I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. "

" Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. "

" I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia. "

" You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand. "

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started. "

" I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. "

" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "

" Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money. "

" I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!' "

" I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. "

" It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work. "

" With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people. "

" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "

" Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. "

" Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing. "

" I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken. "

" Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' "

" The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. "

" My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled. "

" The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything. "