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" Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. "

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" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "

" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "

" Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles. "

" Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. "

" I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. "

" Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. "

" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "

" Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. "

" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "

" Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient. "

" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "

" People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' "

" The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? "

" Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. "

" Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. "

" Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts. "

" Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. "

" Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx. "

" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "

" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "

" Our regulatory bodies strive to create honest dealings, fair trades, and a situation in which no one has an advantage over anyone else. But human beings aren't honest. And all trades are made because one person thinks he's getting the better of the other, and the other person thinks the same. "

" It's hard to be serious in life. "

" In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. "

" Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros. "

" Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. "

" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "

" The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last. "

" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "