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" You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. "

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" By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. "

" They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.' "

" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "

" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "

" Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. "

" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "

" Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's. "

" Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. "

" The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. "

" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "

" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway. "

" In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. "

" Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy. "

" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "

" Even the most left-wing politicians worship wealth creation - as the political-action-committee collection plate is passed. "

" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "

" I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. "

" What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. "

" Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. "

" A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. "

" The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb. "

" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" We all know the types who listen to Pete Seeger songs; even Pete admits they aren't interesting. "

" America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. "

" The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no longer much interested in taking things away from the wealthy and creative. "

" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "

" Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. "