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" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Person
Work
Balance
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" A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitches. It's as handy as bringing Homer along to recite the 'Iliad' while playing a lyre. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Kindle
Electronic
Us
" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Electricity
System
Sales
" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
Death
Somebody
" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gone
Been
My Life
" Political leaders are expert at saying nothing. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing
Political
Saying
" Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in much for revolution or terrorism, either. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ugly
People
Revolution
" If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter. Either that or you're President Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Speak
Place
People
" Funding for the original manned Voyager Mars Program was scratched in 1968, before humans had gotten out of Low Earth Orbit. Mid-'60s plans for a Venus fly-by with astronauts actually flying by it met the same fate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Earth
Same
Plans
" Political discourse has become so rotten that it's no longer possible to tell the stench of one presidential candidate from the stink of another. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Possible
Political
Discourse
" There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Percent
Vote
Number
" Satire doesn't effect change. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Satire
Effect
" Love can never be fully explained. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Love
Explained
Fully
" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Free
Globalization
" Writing is agony. I hate it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Writing
Agony
Hate
" I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody's guts. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Better
Baby
Alone
" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Singing
You
Wish
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Well-Being
Life
Reasonable
" The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can be confidently said about America's mobile homes is that they are massed in places where you wouldn't want to be in one. Florida's mobile homes lie athwart the path of hurricanes. Georgia's are in the way of tornadoes. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Said
Lie
" One nice thing about making jokes is that you don't have to prove them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jokes
Making
Nice
" Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Off
Washington
" I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Past
Grace
History
" Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Flattery
Gossip
" There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Many
Horizon
Trees
" Liberals consider people to be nuisances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consider
People
Liberals
" The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Try
Too Much
Job
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish
" Democrats hate success. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Success
Hate
" The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Failure
Happen
Success