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All Quotes by author - Yakov Smirnoff
" After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore. "
Funny
Soviet
Thought
" Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile. "
Grim
Them
Think
" As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers. "
Together
Fight
Determination
" Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling. "
Feeling
Busy
Thinking
" Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds. "
Notes
Always
Comedians
" Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. "
Connection
Laughter
Language
" Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter. "
Love Is
Communication
Laughter
" Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. "
Men
Crime
Three
" I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter. "
Language
Live
Laughter
" I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good. "
Good
Time
Laughter
" I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter. "
Love
I Believe
Believe
" I came to America to make it my home, and I did. "
Came
Home
Did
" I fed my ego, but not my soul. "
Fed
My Soul
Soul
" If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. "
Treasure
Laughter
Love Is
" If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it. "
Great
Important
New York
" I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own. "
Environmental
Care
American
" I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering. "
Doing
American
Women
" In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. "
You
Two
Propaganda
" In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing. "
Stop
Society
Forget
" It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart. "
Heart
Spirit
Size
" I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else. "
Be Nice
Happy
Nice
" I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world. "
Who
Guy
Funny
" Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. "
Two People
Laughter
Distance
" Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds. "
Immigrants
Women
Men And Women
" My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love. "
Welcome
Freedom
Love
" Never having alone time is real tough on people. "
Time
Tough
Alone
" People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice. "
Crowds
Friendly
Nice
" The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. "
Missed
Last
Why
" The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. "
Washington
Reason
Oil
" There's depth in my comedy. "
Comedy
Depth
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